On the way to finding my Dharma (understanding meaning within my life)

Before you read this, you might want to check out the previous Blog Post: How Ayurveda came into my life... I was broken

I knew that something needed to change…

· Complete burn out from the career that I invested a lot of effort building

· Career that was bringing me a good and reliable income but felt nothing like “me”

· Daily early starts at the construction site, reading through drawings, sitting at the 7am pre-start meetings, procuring materials, checking if reinforcement was installed to the specifications before concrete was placed, so on so forth

· Driving to the construction site and back for hours in the car, coming home, quickly sorting the babies out, exhausted at the couch mindlessly watching tele…day in day out

On the way to work - sometime in 2012 in my UTE driving through the fields of Boddington, somewhere deep in the Western Australia

My Office for almost 2 years - red dirt, red dirt, red dirt

But…how dare am I to feel unhappy, unsatisfied?

I’ve got everything that anyone could ever wish for…

· Beautiful family with sweet babies and a husband who adores me

· All the help I need from my parents and mother-in-law

· A nice suburban house in one of the most desirable cities in the world

· An attractive and well-paying job as a Project Civil Engineer

My Dad looking after the babies

My mommy and my mother-in-law co-living with us - hallelujah

Hubby to be - almost married

I made it, right?

I’ve travelled a long road from a small town Protvino in Moscow Region, Russia, from crazy and irresponsible ten years in Florida, USA and finally settling in Perth, Western Australia, a place that I call home now.

Me having waay too much fun with the chihuahua - sometime in the late 2000s on the Gulf of Mexico

Me, 2nd from the left, in the early 2000s while living in the US

Why am I so fatigued, uninspired, emotional binge eating and to top it all off got hit by an autoimmune challenge?

I was in my mid thirties and I think my time has come to start questioning my purpose, my dharma (not that I realised it back then).

I was looking for “something” to make me happy, to make me fulfilled, blaming my heritage, my poor mother, my insecurities, and addictions.

I was looking for “someone” to fix me…

Well, why not let some Ayurvedic Doctor at an obscure centre in Bali to have a crack, hey?

To be continued…